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The mental anguishes of an average co-worker

Co-working spaces are everywhere and thankfully one regular worker gave us access to his deepest darkest thoughts, 

We all know that co-working is exploding in Southeast Asia, but nobody has really dug deep into the minds of the minions,  the plebs, the faceless masses that share desks with strangers, queue up for their morning coffee and stare at one another with a mixture of curiosity, hostility and sexual attraction.

Thankfully, one local co-worker allowed us to peer inside his thoughts (Amazon provided the technology), and we are excited to share it with you. (We were slightly disturbed.)

8am to 10am

“Look at all of these bankers, dressed in suits like suckers. Check out my Hawaiian shirt. This is what freedom tastes like.”

“Oh god, I’m wearing a Hawaiian t-shirt downtown. Nobody is going to take me seriously and jeez look at these looks everyone is giving me. This was a mistake.”

“Free coffee. Free happiness.”

“This coffee is terrible.”

“Actually, you know what, it’s not that bad. I shouldn’t complain so much.”

“It is time to settle down in my spot for the day. Should I chose a spot in the open-aired area and stare at a complete stranger all day? Or, should I battle to the death for a mini-desk — I will get a great spot all day, but will burn bridges along the way. I know! I will take a call booth and open a live-streaming app so people just think I am talking to clients.”

10am-Lunchtime

“Is it too early for beer?…. yeah probably.”

“Is it too late for another coffee?… hell no!”

“That guy across from me has food stuck in his teeth, but I’ve never spoken to him before, do I tell him?”

“I wonder if the lady next to me is judging my decision to watch basketball while I work?”

“Oh! There’s a guy going for the beer. Kudos to you mate for not giving a single &*#*!.

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“Can I nap yet?”

“If I did nap, I wonder if that would hurt the pitch these salespeople are giving.”

Lunchtime

“Looking forward to walking around the area for a bit!”

“This experience is far too stressful for a break in the day.”

“Oh, I recognise that girl! She is a co-working buddy, but I’ve never actually said hi. Oh my god! She is coming this way! What do I do!? What do I do!? WHAT DO I DO!?”

“Welp, she just walked by and now I feel terrible about myself.”

“I think I am ready to head back to the office, work is less intense than lunchtime.”

Lunchtime-Happy Hour

“I wonder what would happen if I burned that Ping Pong table? I am sure the staff would be angry with me, but the proletariat would obviously support the initiative. Worth it?”

“Suddenly, with all this noise, the Thanos plan doesn’t seem half-bad.”

“Uh oh, my office credit seems to be running out. Should I use it to book that important client meeting? Or should I print my side hustle comic book in full-color to pass around the office?”

“Wow, this comic book is taking a lot longer to print than anticipated.”

“I don’t like that guy. I don’t know why, but I just don’t like the look on his face.”

“Oh wow, he held the door open for me and asked my about my cool shirt. Dang. Time to find a new victim for my arbitrary hatred.”

“5…4…3…2…1….HAPPY HOUR!”

Happy Hour…End of Day

“Is it socially acceptable to just grab beer and then hide in my corner? Actually, looking around, not only is it acceptable, it seems to be the norm.”

“If I drink five beers does that qualify as dinner?”

“Wow, these emails are a lot easier to write…I’m getting in a flow!”

“Oops. Typos all over the place, maybe I’ll save the drafts and spellcheck them tomorrow.”

“That was a tender kiss. That is definitely her boyfriend. Thank goodness I didn’t ask her out…Brain! Get out of the gutter.”

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“The energy of the space does help me at this time of day. It’s like a little caffeine push before heading home.”

“Oofta, this hour-long commute is feeling daunting. I wonder what would happen if I slept here? I’m sure I am not the first person to have done it. I could hit up H&M at like 6am.”

“Oh wait, the air-conditioning got turned off. There goes that plan.”

“Welp, there goes another day in the books. I think I was fairly productive, my boss hasn’t fired me so that’s a good sign. I think tomorrow will be the day I finally cut back on my coffee intake.” (It won’t).

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

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