Months ago, a story in my country went viral over a small business owner cancelling an interview with a young intern who had requested for it to be held online instead of in person. There is more back story to this, but it sparked off conversations with the business owner labelled “boomer”, “out of touch”, and “toxic”. The opposing internet-pitchfork crowd expressed support for the older business owner’s assertions that the new generation of workers was “entitled” and “lacked drive”.
I entered the workforce at 14 years old, working for an internationally renowned organisation that experienced staggering global success. If you’re reading this, chances are high that you are/have been a consumer of the firm that took a chance on me when I was just a kid.
(That paragraph above is a classic inflated LinkedIn way of saying I was flipping burgers for the ‘Golden Arches’)
Two weeks ago, a young entrepreneur left an acronym on one of my posts. I had to google it to find out what it meant (Thanks, Urban Dictionary). That lost lingo moment reminded me I’m no longer the “next generation”. For a large part of my career over the last 15 years, I was used to being the kid in the room.
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My career journey started with pitching a startup idea at the inaugural Young Social Entrepreneur programme held by Singapore International Foundation. Following that, we were presented with many opportunities to network and grow our little startup.
This meant we were often placed in the room with fellow Founders and CEOs. I was 17 years old, and these people were four times (!) my age. Looking back, it’s fascinating to observe how the older generation treated me.
Here’s my take on two common touch points between generations:
Mentorship
In the current days of antagonistic ties between generations, there is another end of the spectrum where the older generation is all ready to dispense words of wisdom, and the younger generation is calling for a mentor in their life.
I fully subscribe to the belief that it helps to be open and teachable towards people who have more experience than I do. And to every younger person who came wanting to learn from me, I yearn to give back in ways to emulate those before me. But I think giving it the title “mentor” distracts me and is unnecessary.
For those of us who believe in the importance of intergenerational support, we need to be careful about missing the point of mentorship.
So a word to the old and young: “Eat the flesh, discard the bones.”
In mentoring, the last thing we want is to replicate ourselves. What we want is to raise better people. To achieve that, we need to recognise that each generation grew up on different terms and are facing different challenges.
They’re going to do things differently, and at the end of the day, we’re all there to learn from each other. You’ll also find that the closer you work with anyone, you’ll start to see beyond the good that attracted you, and you’ll see their humanity and weaknesses. To that, I say, “Eat the flesh, discard the bones”.
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In being mentored, do you call this person your mentor because you want to be associated with his/her success and stature, or are you really interested in gleaning from how they conduct their business (and life)?
If it’s the latter, there’s really no need for titles. All you gotta do is find opportunities to work with them. And in that process, observe and learn. That’s how the spillover happens.
Leadership — Which generation should be taking responsibility?
When a child is lost, they look to adults for direction. It is in such interactions that ingrained in me the belief that older people would always know what to do.
So imagine my panic as I became an adult when I realised I still didn’t know what to do. But I felt better once I looked around and realised no one actually really knows what is going to happen next.
Young or old.
Everyone is just trying to figure a way forward in life, and therein lies that common thread to hold on to and pull together towards collaboration. I’ve learned not to look to my seniors for certainty but for partnership. Everyone has something to offer, and everyone also has weaknesses to buffer.
There’s so much unnecessary resentment that can be avoided by just letting go of that expectation for another generation to be solving today’s problems. A leader can emerge from any generation, and the challenges we face are going to need all hands on deck to tackle. We think we need to find someone good enough, but the truth is closer to us walking together, trying to hit that mark together.
May the boomers and zoomers work in harmony and stop channelling awkward tension energy to the sandwiched generation.
Yours truly,
Gen Y (u fight so much)?
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