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Netflix is a marriage counseling session new parents never expect

At least for me. Not sex. Not couple’s therapy. Netflix

Netflix has always been a popular choice for entertainment since it began operations in 1997, but unfortunately not in my country, Indonesia. Back then, I still had to go to a movie store to rent the movies that I missed in cinema, three months or more after it’s no longer playing.

In 2016, Indonesia welcomed Netflix. So it was really surprising for me to find out it has been out there forever and it took years for it to be present here (let’s not forget the silly ban by a telco conglomerate who had its own agenda of having the exact same streaming platform everywhere).

But even then, Netflix was a foreign concept for me. I guess I’m just a late bloomer when it comes to technology, I prefer something familiar, like renting movies.

Netflix and introversion

People say not to put a label on what you are, but discovering that I don’t really like being in a sea of people, and that I dread conversation, gives me a hunch that if I’m labeled, I would be more of an introvert than an extrovert.

I guess that’s where Netflix comes in handy. It’s the perfect introverts’ entertainment that doesn’t involve thinking other than deciding on what to watch.

Sometimes you don’t even get to decide because it keeps on rolling to the next available movies or reality shows unless you stop it.

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In Indonesia introversion has become a cultural totem of what an ideally cool person is. I think Netflix is part of an introvert’s starter kit — staying-in and streaming now has hype (Netflix and chill is successful branding).

You’re cool if you spend on a Netflix account.

Netflix and parenthood, and marriage

My family recently moved to the ultimate stage of building a life together: having a kid. Two months after giving birth, my partner said it is time…we need a TV and Netflix subscription.

I think at that time it’s more of a need to have a good dose of life outside the endless diaper changes and sleep deprivation. Netflix, as sad as it might sound, helped us cope with brand new parenthood.

Every night, past the three-months mark, we committed ourselves to Dark, a German series produced by Netflix that’s depressing but addictive.

Dark became our escape, or dare I say, a portal to go back and reminisce about a simpler time. It’s when we get our adult time, although with lots of crying and breastfeeding interruption that would end up with us both not finishing a whole episode.

For my partner, who’s having it tad easier since he doesn’t have functioning breasts, it was an eye opening experience since he got to watch series at nights I was too tired to join him. He’s forever converted.

For our companionship, we could bicker all we like about parenting and issues like the lack of involvement in household chores, but come night time, we would make-up over another new episode we’ve committed to watch together.

This is not a surprise, because it’s actually backed by a new survey conducted by HighSpeedInternet.com. Interesting data on couples and their Netflix habits shows that their viewing habits are integral to many romances.

The survey shows that 30 per cent of married couples chose to give up sex rather than Netflix streaming, while 60 per cent of unmarried couples chose Netflix over sex.

Netflix and chill for sanity

The meme “Netflix and chill” is certainly justified with our condition as a couple and new parents.

For myself, the time dedicated to not think about lunch, or about that article that I need to upload ASAP (while making sure my crawling baby doesn’t go straight to the edge of the bed while I looked away to adjust a cover image size) is what helps me function for now.

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Waking up to purpose might be good enough, but mine life got better with the promise of chill at the end of the day.

My partner’s face still lights up about the possibility of us two creeping on the bedside floor watching Netflix and snacking so that we can still keep an eye on the baby. That makes me think that we’re gonna be okay.

Exhaustion and resentment are parts of marriage and parenthood that not many people want to admit, but thanks to our Netflix time, we’re on the same page again.

We’re good, as long as we can geek over the same thing, and in a way, we’re happier parents.

Photo by Caspar Camille Rubin on Unsplash

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